Stop Explaining the Obvious, Writers

Let me share something that bothers me as an editor.

I won’t say it bothers me as a reader, because I almost never see this in professionally edited books. Which tells you something right there.

What bothers me is when writers feel the need to state the obvious.

For example:

“This is disgusting,” she said to no one.

My eyes just rolled so far back into my head I briefly saw my brain.

“She said to no one.”

Well… yes. If the reader already knows she’s alone—and if you’re a good writer, they should know she’s alone based on the scene you’ve created—then we don’t need that little announcement. You’ve basically added a sentence that translates to: In case you forgot how scenes work…

Instead, try something that actually adds flavor:

• “This is disgusting,” she muttered.
• “What in the world is going on?” she mumbled into the darkness.
• “This is disgusting,” she whispered.

See? Same idea. Less eye twitching for your editor.

Another one I see a lot:

“What was that?” she said out loud.

Out loud.

Because… when people say things… they are typically… out loud.

Unless she’s telepathic. In which case we have a completely different book.

Writers, trust your readers. They’re smarter than you think. If the character is alone, we know she’s talking to herself. You don’t need to spell it out like we’re reading assembly instructions for a bookshelf.

And if you catch yourself writing she said to no one, just remember: